I am a pessimist. I have been for many, many years. I could wax poetic about the reasons why, the psychological implications that my life experiences have had on my pessimistic nature, blah blah blah. But I won't. The reason being that my pessimistic nature is something I really want to change, and something I have been working very hard on over the past few months. I have seen proof that the happiest people are people who focus on their blessings and do not dwell on their challenges. I am trying to be one of those people. On most days, I try very hard to embrace the powers of positive thought and remind myself that negative thinking generally only brings more negative experiences.
Today is just not one of those days.
Instead of trying to embrace the rainbows and unicorns today (and trust me, their are rainbows and unicorns to be embraced, especially in the form of some awesome news we received yesterday regarding Pete's job)...I feel like tonight I might just feel better if I take a moment to list my current woes, get them out, and move on.
So in no logical order...
- I followed up my hopeful post from yesterday about finally feeling better with puking all night, kicking my husband out of bed because I was so sick, and spending today feeling awful.
- I have been sick enough yesterday and today that I have had to go back up on my Zofran doage, which in turn has brought back the oh-so-pleasant constipation.
- Had a prenatal appointment this morning that revealed an oh-so-pleasant UTI.
- In an effort to avoid antibiotics, I am trying to treat the UTI naturally, but the 100% cranberry juice makes me too sick to drink it.
- I had to drive our car for the first time in two months today, and of course, while moving the seat forward, the motor on the seat died and the seat is now stuck too close to the wheel for Pete to drive. I have no idea what he plans to do about it, or how we are going to afford to fix it.
- We have to wait four more long weeks to find out the sex of the baby.
- The situation with Ryan's insurance is a mess and there is nothing I can do about it - and our new insurance with Pete's job will not go into effect until October.
- I miss my husband. His working nights sucks.
- I am getting very lonely without any close friends nearby. I am trying to make myself be more social with the women in the neighborhood, despite how crappy I feel, in an effort to make friends...but I still feel like an outsider. Sometimes I wish I had just one close friend that could come over and talk to me every now and then.
- I have also been missing my old friends like crazy lately. Even though I felt like I hardly ever saw them in AZ...I still saw them more than I do now, and I miss that.
- My back hurts like hell. I had to stop my chiropractic treatment in June because of how sick I have been...and every day I can feel more things that need to be fixed. I have severe damage from the car accident that I was told would take at least a year to heal...plus now I have pregnancy aches and pains on top of it...and some days it just hurts to move. I dream of a three-hour long massage the way most women dream about Channing Tatum.
- I feel gross and unattractive. Being sick all the time will do that to a woman. Plus I haven't had a haircut or pedicure since November, and pregnancy acne blows.
Okay enough with the pity party. I do feel better now...I think. Now it's time to go read The Secret again and make a list of the things I am thankful for, and maybe tomorrow will be a better day.
No comments:
Post a Comment