Today's extra special
Because you turn ONE
We'll eat cake and ice cream
And have lots of fun
It seems like just yesterday
You were brand new
And now there are so many things
You can do.
We'll light your first candle
And make a big fuss
To be sure that you know
You're precious to us.
Today's extra special
Because you turn one
And the best thing of all-
Your life's just begun!
My Dearest Kennedy Rae,
Yesterday was your very first birthday. I intended to sit down and write this letter to you last night, but your Daddy and I got caught up in late-night projects for your upcoming birthday party, and then by the time we finished, you had woken up and did not want me to put you back in your crib, so I fell asleep with you in my arms, and had to postpone your letter until now.
I cannot believe that an entire year has already past since the day you left my body and came into this world. No other year of my life has gone by so quickly. It seems like every moment has just flown by in a flurry of joy and change - and in just the blink of an eye, you transformed from a tiny, curled up newborn into a beautiful, wild and independent little person. As I am writing this, you are sleeping soundly in your crib, breathing loudly because you are sick, but peacefully unaware that I crept into your room to write this while I listen to your tiny snores. You are wearing pink striped pajamas that you will probably outgrow by next week, you are snuggled underneath a fluffy pink blanket, and you are so, so beautiful.
When you are awake, you are loud. Curious and loud. You crawl all over the place, you can stand while holding onto something, and just today you climbed halfway up the staircase in such a stealthy fashion that I had no idea that you were even there. Your favorite place in our house is the kitchen, because Ryan's play kitchen is in there, and you know exactly where the bin that holds all his pots and pans is. You empty it so often that I finally just gave up on picking it up, which means half of our kitchen floor has been littered in tiny cooking utensils and plastic food for days...but it sure does make you happy. When you're not throwing pots and wooden spoons around the kitchen, you spend most of your time on the living room floor banging a set of stacking cups and shaped blocks together. You love them because they make noise, and you love anything you can bang together to create even more noise. You also love to sing, scream, and chirp like a bird - all in that operatic soprano pitch of yours. And you throw tantrums. Lots of them. But you're ridiculously cute when you do.
You love to eat - right now your favorite foods are blueberries, ice cream, fried rice, bananas and string cheese. Despite your incredible, and often insatiable, appetite, you are still tiny for your age. I finally started putting the 3-6 month sized clothes away just a couple days ago, and you are currently wearing 6-9. You recently learned how to pull hair bows and headbands out of your hair and it drives me nuts. You hate wearing shoes or socks. You love taking baths. You LOVE watching TV.
You love to play with Ryan. You watch every move he makes and you follow him around like a puppy. He is so sweet to you, always wants to teach you new things, and is constantly worried about your safety ("What if she chokes on that, Mom?! Don't let her climb the stairs, Mom!). Your favorite and most used word is "Dada" (or "Daddy" or "Da"). You yell at Dad the minute he comes home from work and you cry the minute he leaves. You love to fall asleep on his chest and you think it's awesome when he throws you up in the air or hangs you upside down. It is safe to say you have them both wrapped around your tiny fingers...and I don't think they would have it any other way.
And then there's you and me. Oh sweet girl, you are my baby. You get upset any time you have to be more than ten feet away from me. I am the only thing you want when you get hurt or sick. And I miss you anytime I am away from you (unless I am sleeping because you kept me up all night, of course). Mothers and daughters really do share a bond unlike any other, and even as small as you are, I feel it so strongly.
So now you are one. You spent your birthday with Daddy and me until Ryan came home from school, we ate breakfast in bed, we went shopping for birthday party supplies, you ate your first snickerdoodle cookie at lunch, you took a couple long naps, and you had your first piece of pizza for dinner. Your party is in two days, and the planning has taken over everything over the past few days, but I'm sure it will be worth it (how can it not be, when I'm baking 60 cupcakes?!). You will never remember it, but I will, and I will cherish it.
Last night, I brought you in bed with me because you are sick with an ear infection and nothing else could console you. I held you in my arms and thought about the fact that I also held your brother in my arms while he was sick on the night of his first birthday, too. Then I thought of how fast he grew up...and how soon you will as well. Tears came to my eyes when I think of all the precious "baby moments" that you and I will never share again. I found myself wishing that I could go back and do the past year all over again just one more time - not because I would do it any differently - but simply because the sweetness of you as a baby brought so much joy to my life.
But of course we cannot go back. We can only go forward. And there is so much in front of us. I want you to know that your existence has changed me. I have more love, more charity, more hope, more courage, and more faith in God because of the miracle of you over the past year. Your little face has looked up at me on my worst days and on my best, and I want you to know that every day was better because of you.
I love you.
Happy First Birthday, Baby Girl. I am looking forward to many, many more...and so, so many cupcakes.
Love,
Mom
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