Merriam-Webster defines ides as "this day and the seven days preceding it."
Thursday. I was finally getting over the head cold that plagued me all the way through Thanksgiving and my 27th birthday. I was excited for December...which is saying a lot. I had actually already decorated for Christmas, and even decided that we need more decorations (this is unheard of for me, as I am usually not the biggest fan of the Christmas season). I had a well-organized, balanced budget set out for the rest of the year and a plan to have all of the remaining stuff on our baby list purchased and the nursery finished within a week or two.
Friday. Pete and Ryan and I were shopping at Coscto (which really means we were there for the pregnant woman to eat all the free samples for lunch and actually only buy one thing), when we checked our bank account online and discovered Pete's paycheck was waaaay less than it was supposed to be. He couldn't access his paystubs without being logged in from his computer at work, so we could only speculate the reasons until he went to work at 8 pm that night. By 8:30 I was sobbing after we figured out what the cause was, and that it would essentially cause a long-term deficit in our monthly income. I cried on and off for a couple hours, talked to Nathan about what to do, listened to a good friend while she assured me everything would be fine, puked a few times, and held tight to Pete on his lunch break as we tried to convince each other that it would all get worked out on Monday morning when he would try his best to fix the situation. Before I went to bed I prayed. For a very long time.
Saturday. We tried to ignore everything as best we could since we couldn't do anything about it until Monday. We returned a duplicate baby gift to Babies R Us and used the store credit to buy some more things on the baby list. Babies need a lot of crap. And it's expensive. But it does help ease the pain when everything's all pink and soft and cuddly. I spent some time sitting in my rocking chair in little K's almost-finished room, just taking in the silence, and tried to clear my head. And I prayed some more.
Sunday. We went to church, came home, and then headed up to Salt Lake for the First Presidency Christmas Devotional. My pregnant hobbit body walked three blocks in heels and then trekked up and down hundreds of stairs in the Conference Center and was in a tremendous amount of pain before the devotional even started, but it was a great night regardless. It was overwhelming to be in the same room as President Monson, and a great experience to share with my husband and brother and sister-in-law. We risked our lives driving home in an awful storm, but we made it back and enjoyed some nice alone time in front of the Christmas tree playing games with Baby Bean's kicks and laughing at her crazy uterine antics.
Monday. Pete did what he could but was unable to fix the financial issue right away. We were instead led to a solution that should take place within a couple months. In the meantime (30-60 days), we have to find a way to deal with the significant deficit. We were blessed with help from my brother and some unexpected money on Pete's next paycheck, so after a couple hours of extreme budgeting and cutting corners wherever possible, I found a way to make things (kind of ) work until then. We decided to stop worrying about it (as much as possible) by going out to eat to celebrate Pete's birthday using a gift card sent from his sister. We ate delicious Italian food and tried to remember how much better life is now than it was seven months ago, even if it feels like things are falling apart.
Tuesday. I woke up puking. I spent the majority of the day trying desperately to not continue the puking. I took a much needed nap while my sweet boy played Legos next to me. I felt awful. But we had dinner with a good friend and I actually had an appetite, then I came home and managed to clean the kitchen. Progress is progress, right?
Yesterday. My amazing husband's birthday! I was too sick to get out of bed until noon, but I made it out and baked his birthday cake before he had to leave for work. Ryan spent his day doing chores (as punishment for bad behavior the night before) so between the two of us we got quite a bit of cleaning done. I was sick again by the end of the night, but I managed to eat several chocolate chip cookies before then, so it wasn't too bad. I even did three loads of laundry.
Today. I woke up early to go shopping for Ryan's birthday cake supplies, but was derailed by throwing up in not one, but both, of our bathroom sinks. We eventually made it to the store while Ryan was at school and I fought back vomiting in the parking lot. Seven cake mixes, three tubs of icing, four pounds of powdered sugar, two bags of marshmallows and 12 icing bags later, I made it back to the couch for a tiny rest before it was time to make fondant and send Pete off to work. A sweet friend fed Ryan and I dinner since I felt too awful to do much on my own, and I was able to keep the food down. Hooray for small victories. All day I have been fighting some kind of horrible pain in my groin/pubic bone, and by dinnertime I was almost in tears from the pain I felt while climbing up the stairs. I'm guessing it is either a severe UTI or Symphysis Pubis Dysfunction...I'm waiting to see if it gets worse tomorrow before debating a trip to the hospital. So in the meantime I sit here, trying to ignore the pain, the nausea, the heartburn and the laundry while I stare at the clock and countdown the remaining hours before my baby boy turns six years old. I am emotional about him getting older, and about everything else, and it is hard not to cry. The nursery is still not finished, the budget is scary, and I can only hope I make it through my Bug's birthday festivities without throwing up. But the clock ticks on, and I need to sleep, so that is all for now.
Tomorrow is another day.
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