Oh, October...

I guess it is time for a weekly update. Plus I feel too crappy to do anything else but sit here on the couch, so I might as well write something.

I have been looking forward to October for many months.  When I was suffering through the sickness of my first trimester, and then discovered that the early second trimester was no better, I found myself looking toward October with a beacon of hope. October would be the last full month of my second trimester, so I would *have* to feel better by then.  And I would still be small enough to mover around with decent comfort and get things done around the house before I am the size of a whale. October would bring the end of miserable heat and welcome amazing Fall temperatures - but not yet be so cold that I feel like I'm going to die (I am an AZ girl, remember, and the winter here in UT may kill me).  And of course there's the fact that I love Halloween more than any other holiday.  I had no real reason to believe that I would start feeling better by October, but I had such high expectations that I assumed the power of positive thinking would work its magic and October would just be lovely.

So far this month has not exactly lived up to expectations...but it has had some nice highlights.

For over a week now, my body has been fighting three different battles, and it is taking a ridiculous toll on me.  I have been dealing with a cold/flu virus, a bladder infection, and the usual nausea/vomiting of pregnancy.  The antibiotics I am on for the infection make me even more sick to my stomach than normal, and the grossly insane amount of snot that is constantly draining from my nose into my stomach also makes the nausea worse.  But of course I have to take the antibiotics with food and then follow each dose two hours later with a dose of Probiotics that also have to be taken with food...so I am forcing myself to eat a lot while simultaneously trying not to puke.   It is an interesting balancing act.  My body is using so much energy to fight the virus and infection and nurture the baby that I have been left utterly exhausted.  I keep trying to get sleep, but the inability to breathe out of my nose makes sleeping difficult, and the addition of the insane pregnancy dreams I keep having make it even harder.  I have now had three different dreams where Baby Bean has been born prematurely...perhaps a psychosomatic fear related to my own premature birth, perhaps a premonition...either way, sleep has been hard.  So here I am, sitting on the couch surround by balls of tissues, trying to ignore the mommy-guilt over not being able to do much with Ryan or take him to the other side of the neighborhood where all the kids play. Ugh.

October has been nice to me in a few ways.  The weather has gotten cooler (not as much as I hoped, but oh well), our progress on the nursery is well under way now, and I have gotten a lot of time to spend with new friends that I have enjoyed greatly.  It has been such a blessing to finally make friends here and to have some women that I feel I can really talk to, and it has been a blessing for Ryan as well.  He is such a little social butterfly now, and it is great to see him have more interaction with kids rather than just adult family members.    Pete is finally making his new salary, which will start bringing bigger paychecks this month, and we are now covered by some pretty great insurance, so our finances are looking better - and that is always a welcome blessing.  Of course Halloween is right around the corner, which makes me happy as always, and I know that once Halloween passes, time will just speed by in a whirlwind of holidays...and January/February will be here before we know it.

My hopes are now set on November.  Colder weather, my birthday, my baby shower, the awesomeness of Thanksgiving food...and I have to feel better by then, right???  Please??  I think it can be done. Cause frankly, I am sick of feeling like crap.  That is all.